Rejection, thy name is...

Have you ever had one of those days where it feels like rejection is your middle name? I am definitely having one of those days.

I've tried to be positive about my lack of having a significant other in my life, but over the past couple of years I feel as though I have become the doable girl, but not the dateable girl. (Not that I have been sleeping with a lot of people, don't take that the wrong way, it's just the people who I have found myself attracted to and who I could see potential in would get to know me, and then decide that there was someone out there better for them...). It's a little discouraging.

That is not the biggest form of rejection I am feeling right now, though. I finally finally had an interview for occassional teaching that could put me on the right path towards one day having my own classroom, and I have this sinking feeling that I am not getting the position. While I feel like I answered many of the questions well, I worry that the ones I tanked (and I think there were a couple) could very well be the important/deciding factors. There was no warmth when I left the interview room, no mention of when they were going to call my references and/or call me... And none of my references have mentioned to me about whether or not they were contacted. I seriously felt like crying when I left the interview, and 4 days later I am not feeling much better. People keep telling me to be positive and to take the experience, away from it, but I am getting frustrated with waiting for my career to start. I know it is partially my own fault... If I had been willing to move maybe I would have had something by now...

I constantly wonder why fate plays this dance with me. If I wasn't meant to be a teacher, why was I accepted to Teacher's College? Why give me all of these opportunities within schools which could lead to teaching, but not an actual teaching job? Am I being too cynical? I have always believed that things happen when they are meant to happen, but I am starting to wonder and maybe even worry...